The past 10 months have been challenging; especially in regards to working from home and managing more demands than ever. On top of all that, today’s modern world is filled with many distractions, making it difficult to get down to the essentials—to the heart and core of things—and that includes ourselves.
Oftentimes, we find ourselves in a reactive state. Instead of acting based on our own will and intentions, we are merely reacting to what is happening around us: requests, to-dos, responsibilities, chores, etc. (When does the workday end if you never leave your house and your computer is within reach at all hours?)
With so many external influences, expectations, and demands, it can be difficult to reestablish a connection with our true, internal, essential selves. Let’s remedy that in 2021.
What is Your Essential Self?
How would you describe who you are at your core? If you strip away all the external-facing facets of your life—the labels, the roles you play, the hats you wear, the titles you have—what would be left?
The essential self is what is left after we get rid of everything nonessential to our beings. It can be understood through multiple lenses: spirituality, personality, cultural identity, outlook, self-care, gender identity, and the inner self.
According to the author and spiritual teacher A. H. Almaas, the essential self can be described as a very pure and simple sense of presence.
How Can You Tap into It?
So, how can we tap into this beautiful thing that is the essential self?
We suggest you start by carving out some alone time for yourself, a time when you can sit and reflect. If you have a regular meditation practice, this may seem familiar; but instead of letting go of your thoughts, during this exercise you want to observe them. Even two minutes can be effective and powerful!
Take this time—a time free from distractions, responsibilities, and other people—to take notice of your thoughts and feelings. Be mindful of how you react, not only to the world around you, but to the world inside you as well.
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This practice can be as little as a few minutes a day, but don’t expect immediate results; it will take time to reap its benefits. Similar to sports or meditation, we have to practice daily in order to go deeper and build competence and expertise. This will ultimately help us develop the skills we need so that we can call on them when we need them.
As you get more comfortable observing your thoughts, noticing patterns, and fostering a better understanding of your essential self, here are some things you can begin to reflect on:
Your Relationship with Yourself
Who are you at the heart of your being? Do you feel a sense of peace, or rather conflicted and/or anxious? Listen to your inner dialogue: Is it judgmental and negative, or more constructive and positive? How would you describe your energy, your spirit? Be honest with yourself, and whatever you find, don’t judge yourself, simply observe and take note.
Your Relationship to Existence
What is your outlook on life itself? How do you see the world? A big facet of your essential self is how you perceive the world, society, and the way you fit in it. These beliefs inform not only your day-to-day interactions with other people, but how you move about in the world in general. This also helps you better understand your own sense of meaning and purpose in relation to the bigger picture.
Your Relationship with Others
When not in a professional context, how do you relate to and interact with other people? Think of how you behave with those closest to you, with whom you’re the most comfortable and relaxed. How does this social and/or intimate side of yourself inform who you really are? What does it tell you about your innermost self?
Ultimately, tapping into and getting to know our essential selves can help us weather uncertain times—much like those we experienced in 2020 and will continue to live through this coming year.
That’s because understanding and being in tune with who we are at our core will enable us to see external forces as temporary: they will come and go, but who we are at heart will be our constant—a guiding, resilient force. This, in turn, can instill an unshakeable confidence in ourselves.
So say goodbye to questioning yourself in 2021, and hello to a firm understanding of who you are and what you stand for.