Does your family and family business allow every member to have a voice when it comes to deploying and preserving the financial and—perhaps equally or more important—non-financial capital you have been entrusted with?
Historically this is a subject that is oftentimes overlooked…leading it to become the source of great turmoil and dysfunction.
Do matriarchs, daughters, and granddaughters feel they are being heard? Is their skill set fully utilized for the long-term benefit of the family and family business?
I recently chatted with Bea, Meg, and Amanda, three young female inheritors. During our discussion, we learned that at some point, families will need to have difficult conversations. And it’s helpful to be prepared for those conversations—including when you may disagree with other family members’ views.
We hope this peer discussion challenges your family and helps you not only develop better communication, but a strong, multi-generational legacy.
Without further ado, let’s dive into the most important takeaways from our chat.
“We need to mindfully create opportunities for everyone to be equally involved should they so choose.”
Throughout the conversation, we came back to the sense that values weren’t necessarily aligned evenly among our participants’ generation of inheritors.
As Bea shared, “We need to choose our next steps very carefully while mindfully creating opportunities for everyone to be equally involved should they so choose.”
She continued by asking some very poignant questions:
How do we…
- Strategically approach these conversations?
- Open the door so everyone has an equal opportunity to give?
- Create a legacy that our grandparents would be proud of?
- How does a leader rise within a generation?
“How do you show up authentically and with integrity in yourself so you can be of service to your family and the legacy that’s being left?”
Meg shared some of the challenges she’s faced being in such a big group of inheritors—15 to be exact. “My biggest takeaway is choice. When you’re in a family situation this is a very tricky concept. Especially in a group of 15 and with a lot of fear around my ability to sink or swim being tied to the ability of the family to work together.”
“Families all have their stuff and when you’re trying to make something run on top of it, it’s a lot of pressure. I wanted to hash everything out so we could keep moving forward. But we struggled with a lot of circular conversations and not a lot of action. When you’re part of such a big group, how do you show up authentically and with integrity in yourself so you can be of service to your family and the legacy that’s being left?”
She also shared that through her participation in the Wellth Works community, she was confronted—for the first time—with the question of whether or not she even wanted to be of service to that legacy. “There’s so much power in, instead of going into it saying ‘I have to help keep the boat afloat’, I’m choosing to invest in my cousins, myself, and this really cool impact we get to have on the foundation.”
“It’s hard to know where family starts and business ends.”
Amanda shared that, for her, it was hard to know where family started and business ended. “It’s been hard for me to really come to terms with the specific dynamics of how independent I am vs. [my involvement with the] family. Talking with fellow inheritors has helped me integrate these two sides of myself.”
She shared that working on and investing in yourself is one of the best decisions you can make as an inheritor. “One of the best, longest-term investments you can make is in yourself. In doing so you’ll be able to contribute more to your family. By self-actualizing you’ll be able to bring that person to the table—and that’s so much more valuable than doing what other people want you to do.”
Ultimately, these ladies wanted to leave fellow inheritors with the following advice:
“If we can come to the table and remind ourselves that no matter where we’re coming from, how involved a family member we are, or our gender or gender presentation, we have value. We are all still family members and there’s a legacy to be negotiated. We have unique perspectives that need to be taken into account in order to ensure we’re proud of the legacy we’re building, and that moving forward, there’s hope for change.”
“Once you find a way to show up with integrity and authenticity, once you know how and where you want to show up and what you want to do with that, [the next step is to] find a support system that gives you accountability.”
“Find a community and find that solidarity to help empower yourself.”
Want to listen to the entire conversation? Check it out here.