This is a guest post by wealth psychology expert Kathleen Burns Kingsbury, founder of KBK Wealth Connection, who has more than two decades of experience educating professionals and empowering women, couples, and families.
There has never been a time in U.S. history where women have been more economically powerful.
Currently, women control over 50% of the personal wealth in the United States, act as primary or joint decision makers for $11.2 trillion in investable assets, and will control at least two-thirds of the nation’s wealth by 2030.
While men still outnumber women as providers, recent studies show that 44% of women are the primary breadwinners in their households. Even if they don’t bring home all the bacon, women make 85% of the buying decisions and are very influential in how the family income is spent. Yes, women are a financial force to be reckoned with.
Facing Financial Discrimination
Despite this economic power, women still face financial discrimination that makes it harder for them to earn what they are worth, access credit and business capital, and afford daily expenses. While the reasons for these gender inequities are complex, a major contributor is the mixed messages our society sends to women when it comes to money. These messages include:
- “As a woman, you need to know about money, but not have profit serve as motivation.”
- “You need to teach your children to be financially literate, but avoid financial conflict in your life.”
- “You need to make money, but not more than your partner or spouse.”
It is hard enough to talk about money in our culture, but being a woman certainly adds another layer of complexity.
Our society’s ambivalence about the role women should take in earning, managing, and investing money makes it challenging for women to assert themselves financially. This is especially true if you are from the Traditional (born before 1946) or Baby Boomer (born between 1947-1964) generations.
You may remember a time when married women typically didn’t work outside the home; they also could not qualify for credit without their husband’s signature. (Yes, millennial generation readers, this really happened!) You may have worked your way up the corporate ladder in a male-dominated industry, only to hit your head on the glass ceiling. Or you may have become a financial advisor to make sure your female clients don’t face the same monetary fate as your mother and the women before her.
Ending Financial Inequities Between the Sexes
Over the past 50 years, the Equal Pay Act, the Equal Credit Opportunity Act, and Title IX have become U.S. law. Each one is aimed to end financial inequities between the sexes. However, progress has been slow, as evidenced by the following statistics:
- Women working full time make 80 cents to every dollar men working full time do.
- Only 4% of conventional small business loans go to businesses owned by women.
- For people age 65 and older, more than twice as many women as men lived in poverty in 2013.
It is no wonder so many women suffer in silence. The world around them has a gender bias and constantly reinforces the myth that men are better at making and managing money. Unfortunately, some financial services professionals buy into the outdated assumption that men are the financial providers and decision makers, and women aren’t very interested in finances.
If you have been talked down to, not invited to a financial meeting with your partner, or felt misunderstood by a financial services professional, it could be time to change to a more female-friendly advisor. The good news is there are many professionals who do understand the unique needs of women and their partners. You don’t have to stay with an advisor who doesn’t invest time in getting to know your unique life circumstances and financial goals.
The Importance of Individual Advocacy
The only way for women to change their financial reality is to speak up. Legislation and corporate change to address pay inequities are all well and good, but without individual advocacy, they are not effective. I believe the tipping point will occur when both men and women break their own personal money silence and stop accepting the idea that it is okay for women to make less and pay more (for dry-cleaning services, basic clothing items, toiletries, or healthcare) simply because of their gender.
There is a saying, “You’re only as sick as your secrets”. It means that staying quiet and not talking about uncomfortable issues just keeps you stuck in unhealthy habits. Discussing gender financial inequality may not always be pleasant, but it is a necessary part of breaking money silence.
The good news is women excel when it comes to communication; therefore, they are uniquely positioned to use their voices and speak up financially. If you have trouble breaking money silence for yourself, then think about the next generation of women. What a wonderful gift you can give to your daughters, granddaughters, and their future partners—to live in a gender discrimination-free world.
Tips for Breaking Money Silence
1. Be Mindful
One of the keys to change is being aware of unhealthy habits. Make time to learn more about the gender wage gap and women’s unique financial struggles. Read books and articles on the topic and discuss what you learn from these resources with your friends and family. Vote for political leaders who actively address gender financial discrimination in their legislation. If all of us are more mindful about gender inequality, then we are more likely to move toward a better system.
2. Be Proactive
Noticing the world around you is an important first step, but without action, change will never occur. Decide to proactively look for opportunities to rise up against gender disparities. If you are an employer, review your hiring and compensation policies and set up checks and balances to help make sure your firm is being fair to both men and women. If you are an employee, do your due diligence and learn how to wisely negotiate your salary. Track your accomplishments, research compensation standards in your industry, and advocate for your worth and value. Like a ripple in a pond, one action generates action all around you.
3. Be Persistent
The day after the 2016 presidential inauguration, a Women’s March was held in various cities across the United States and the globe, calling for the fair treatment of women and girls. Some protesters who were 60 years old (or older) carried signs indicating that they had been fighting for women’s rights for the last 40 years—since the original women’s movement began. Now that is persistence!
Being persistent does not mean you have to march in the streets in Washington, D.C. (However, if you are inspired, feel free to do so.) It means that you need to keep chipping away at the problem. If you get discouraged, rest. If you need support, find a supportive person or group to keep you going. Societal change requires that you are tenacious in your pursuit of breaking money silence and financial self-care; or help others financially take care of themselves. Take one action a week or a month. Just make sure you do something and don’t become complacent.