We know it’s impossible to survive in business without learning to withstand rejection. It’s hard for us all to bounce back from hearing “no.” It can make us feel wrong or unworthy, like we’ve made fools of ourselves. But that can all change if you reframe the way you look at a “no”.
Here are some powerful ways we’ve been able to reframe hearing a “no” in order to make it a more empowering experience.
1. Realize that a “no” can be the beginning of a conversation rather than the end.
It’s a simple fact of life: few things work out the first time. When you see a “no” as the beginning of a conversation rather than the end, you reframe it as a “no” for the time being—not a “no” for forever. Rather than seeing that “no” as signifying absolute failure, this reframing also helps you realize that failure is never final, and business is built on negotiation.
2. A “no” can be a simple request for more information.
Usually a “no” does not stand alone:
- “No, but ask me again in a couple months.”
- “No, we are more interested in people with experience in _____.”
- “No, but I have a friend with a position open.”
When you receive a “no” like this, you can then ask for clarification. Ask:
“What would make this a yes for you?” This will allow you to get as much information possible in order to move yourself closer to a “yes”. This shows that you care and are willing to work for what you want.
This will also provide you with experience with the (hiring, reviewing, application) process, more confidence the next time around, and can ultimately speed up the road to that “yes”.
3. A “no” can lead to contemplation.
What is it that stopped you from receiving a “yes”? What‘s the next step to help you move towards a “yes”? Viewing a “no” from a more contemplative stance can help you dig deep to understand where things may have gone wrong. This can allow you to then course correct in order to receive that “yes” next time.
4.You’ve been given a chance to practice your resilience and persistence.
It may be hard to see the positive at first, but you’ve just been given a chance to practice your resilience and persistence. You can start by learning how to pick yourself back up with a pep talk; what is your worth? Tell your negative inner voice to quiet down, and listen to the positive one coming through instead.
If you reframe that “no” and use it as a learning opportunity, you can start to find all the good things that can come out of this experience. Figure out which co-workers support and encourage you and ask them to help point these things out too if you’d like additional input.
5. A “no” will always lead to improvement.
Remember, the first “no” stings the most; the more “no’s” you receive, the less powerful they will feel. Just like learning your faults in order to improve them, learning what went wrong in the process this time around will help you succeed quicker next time. You’ll also learn more about the people you are doing business with. But mostly importantly, by acknowledging your skills and failings, you’ll learn more about yourself.