People pleasing affects our ability to perform, get promoted, be valued, and be recognized in the workplace.
Ultimately, it results in burnout because people pleasing is the ultimate self betrayal.
When we value others over ourselves consistently, it slowly wears us down, affects our motivation and excitement about our work, and quietly kills our self confidence.
So what can we do about it? The first step is to recognize when you’re doing it.
6 Subtle Signs You Might Be People Pleasing at Work
No, these are not helping your chances of getting promoted. In fact, they’re doing the opposite.
1. You agree even when you disagree.
You don’t speak up when you have a contrary or potentially controversial opinion.
2. You’re uncomfortable with direct language at work.
You find yourself apologizing, and the idea of making a direct request (without the “Would you mind…” or “If it’s ok with you…”) makes you cringe.
3. You experience empathy overload on the daily.
You are burdened by other people’s moods (e.g. you feel affected when your boss is having a bad day) and you make it personal or worry it’s somehow about you.
4. You say yes too quickly.
You say yes too often so you don’t feel like you’re letting anyone down—even if it means you’re in the office until midnight finishing someone else’s work.
5. You avoid asking for things.
And when you do, you back down at the first no. (Here’s how to stop doing that.)
6. You need everyone to like you (even the people you don’t like).
Jenny from accounting didn’t say hi today, so you feel like you need to make an extra effort to ingratiate yourself with her.
Do any of these sound like you? Then it’s time to face the music, because this behavior is costing you—big time.
What People Pleasing is Costing You
People pleasing can not only affect your performance at work, it also prevents you from being recognized in the workplace, impacting your chances of getting promoted.
Let’s take a look at all the true costs of putting others before yourself.
Power
Putting others’ needs before your own means you’re giving up your power! Don’t let this happen. Stand up resolutely for yourself and your own priorities—and don’t let anyone knock you off your path.
Time
Value your time. Once you realize that time is one of the only things you can’t get back, you’ll start to value it more—and won’t let anyone else rob you of it.
Sanity
You have enough on your plate; don’t let anyone add anything more to it! Firmly state your boundaries in order to safeguard your sanity.
Leadership
The more you let others take advantage of you, the less people will think you’re leadership material. This is because what you may see as kindness, others may see as you being a doormat.
Self Confidence
Ultimately, your self confidence becomes depleted each time you honor others over yourself, because you are subconsciously sending a signal that you’re not worthy.
At the end of the day, burnout and self-betrayal are inevitable if you don’t change the way you think about your performance. Thankfully, we’re here to help with that.
Join us for a webinar on September 21 at 2pm EST to learn how to stop people pleasing and start putting yourself first.